


Scandal

by Erestorandfin



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:56:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erestorandfin/pseuds/Erestorandfin
Summary: As it turned out, all it took was a well-meaning comment to provide the tinder for the inevitable explosion.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 59
Kudos: 92





	1. All of the world's gonna know

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by ‘Scandal’ by Delain. Note, this is a cover, however while usually I would say you would be hard beat to match Queen, the energy of both versions are different enough for me to consider them separate songs. If like me you enjoy music to set the mood, I advise listening to the version by Delain to accompany this story as the original doesn’t quite fit the same way.
> 
> Many thanks to Mary S for beta and support!

Scandal, now you've left me all of the world's gonna know  
Scandal, they're gonna turn our lives into a freak show  
They'll see the heart-ache, they'll see our love break  
They'll hear me pleading, I'll say for God's sake  
Over and over and over again

Scandal, now you've left me there's no healing the wounds  
Scandal, and all the world can make us out to be fools  
Here come the bad news, open the floodgates  
They'll leave us bleeding, we’ll say ‘you cheapskates’  
Over and over and over again

So let them know when they stare, it's just a private affair  
They'll have us hung in the air and tell me what do they care  
It's only a life to be twisted and broken

They'll see the heart-ache, they'll see our love break, yeah  
They'll hear me pleading, I'll say for God's sake  
Over and over and over and over again

Scandal, scandal

Scandal, yes you're breaking my heart again  
Scandal, yes it all, it all happened again

Today the headlines, tomorrow hard times  
And no-one really knows the truth from the lies  
And in the end the story deeper must hide  
Deeper and deeper and deeper inside

***

Earth, 2380

***

In retrospect, it was surprising it had taken so long to come to a head. 

As usual, Kathryn was running herself ragged, pushing the boundaries of what was physically possible to try to meet the insane demands Starfleet was placing on her. It was very obvious the amount of work she was being asked to do was far more than one person could manage, but still it continued to pile higher, and even she began to seriously struggle to keep up. Sometimes it felt like she was living at HQ, leaving late into the night and returning before dawn broke. 

It was no surprise that this began to spill into home life, or the lack of it. Chakotay was not hesitant to point out that she couldn’t continue like this, and the disagreements between them grew more frequent as his concerns forced her into a defensive position, compelled to defend Starfleet even though she herself was angry at their failure to listen to her concerns. Every time she told them her workload was unacceptable, she was brushed off with some excuse. 

On top of their ‘official’ work, they were both expected to continue to publicly represent Starfleet, the press and public seemingly never getting enough of the ‘Heroes of the Delta Quadrant’.

While all of those on Voyager were affected, the couple were the worst hit. Individually, each stood out in a crowd, drawing more than their fair share of attention. But together, with her vibrant hair and formidable presence combined with his captivating eyes and air of mystery, they were hard to miss. They were a striking pair, appearing like polar opposites existing in perfect balance; the petite woman and her fiery nature tempered by his calming aura. The demands for their attention and attendance at various events were endless; everyone was obsessed with their romance, forced to spend so long apart only to fall into a passionate relationship almost immediately after they returned to Earth.

Frustrated by their conflicting schedules and furious at the behaviour of Starfleet, Chakotay resigned in an attempt to create some time for them to spend together. But from that moment onwards, Kathryn’s workload only seem to grow even larger, and both of them wondered if this was punishment for his unwillingness to fall in line.

Additionally, his spontaneous separation from Starfleet had only made the press hound them even more furiously, desperate for a story to blow Starfleet out of the water, or an exclusive on how their relationship was weathering their change in circumstances.

All the signs pointed to an imminent disaster as tempers ran high, the pressure building from all aspects of their life with no give in any direction. As it turned out, all it took was a well-meaning comment to provide the tinder for the inevitable explosion.

***

The evening had been unremarkable, long and tedious perhaps, but then, most formal Starfleet events were. Following from a night where she hadn’t made it home from HQ at all, Kathryn had only been able to leave her office with barely enough time to change before her presence was expected at the evening affair. 

It was plain that she was completely exhausted, but no amount of persuading was going to convince her not to go, and though no longer affiliated with Starfleet, Chakotay had no intention of letting her face it alone.

Initially, the signs she was starting to struggle were subtle, nothing more than a light tapping of her index finger against her champagne flute in irritation, the frustration in her eyes masked by the apparently welcoming smile on her face. He could almost see her counting down from ten in her head each time she forced herself to ignore her displeasure after being asked another inappropriately personal question, and he unconsciously began to keep a tally of the figurative body count. But as she was relentlessly assaulted from all sides, the gala rapidly became a metaphorical battleground and it became impossible to keep up. 

As the night went on, he was deeply concerned to see her openly begin to falter, a worryingly uncharacteristic crack appearing in her imperturbable manner as she started to lose track of her thoughts midway through a conversation. When he saw her start and almost drop her glass as someone unexpectedly brushed past her, he decided enough was enough. Sidling up to her, he politely asked to borrow her for a moment, moving them far enough away that his quiet words would be lost to all but her in the midst of the loud chatter surrounding them.

“Kathryn, you’ve been here long enough. If you excuse yourself now, maybe you can actually get a night of sleep for once.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are not fine. You need to go home Kathryn, now, before you quite literally drop.” 

Though he intended only to impress on Kathryn how concerned he was, believing it was overtly implied in his words that he would be the one taking her home, clearly she was too tired to focus fully on what he was saying.

“If you want me to go home so you can find someone more interesting to spend time with, just say so, Chakotay!” She snapped hotly, making no effort to match his quiet tone. Suddenly feeling far more awake, she rounded on him, muting the small voice in the back of her head warning her this was a bad idea, delighted to acquire a target for the aggravation that had been simmering under her restrained veneer all evening. 

“I’d think very carefully before making that kind of accusation if I were you, Kathryn; you are much too tired to know what you are saying, and I promise you will regret it. You know perfectly well I wouldn’t be here at all if not for you. I just want you to stop before you push yourself too far. And If you were ever home, you would remember I only have eyes for you.”

“I’m more than capable of looking after myself, thank you, I don’t need you telling me what to do! I can manage on my own.”

“Of course not, you don’t need anything from anyone, do you Kathryn? It doesn’t matter to you that you’re almost killing yourself, you’ll do the opposite of what you should just because I suggested it.”

“It wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order, and even if you did have the authority to give me commands, I still wouldn’t follow it because you are mistaken. You’re always questioning my decisions, underestimating my capabilities. You need to learn to keep your opinions to yourself when they are clearly not wanted.”

“You know, sometimes I wonder why you’re with me at all, since you care so little for my company or my input. Do I even matter to you? Perhaps I’m just another one of your check-boxes, one more achievement to try and prove your life has purpose? Starfleet, Tick. Husband, Tick. Admiral, Tick. God forbid Kathryn Janeway doesn’t prove she can do it all, and quicker than anyone else could! Have you ever considered stopping to enjoy a single one of the good things in your life before desperately chasing the next?” 

Kathryn wasn’t even sure what part of what he said pushed her over the edge, but she was absolutely livid. In a flash, her slender hand had slapped him hard across the face before she even knew what was happening. It was hard to tell which of them was more stunned, her hands going to her mouth for a moment, eyes wide in shock as her brain caught up to her knee-jerk reaction. But a second later, the crash of adrenaline returned, and with it the urge to release the full extent of her wrath. Incandescent with rage, she regained her footing, aggressively pushing forward in an attempt to soothe her bruised ego.

“You knew exactly what you were getting into when you married me! I always made it quite clear what a relationship with me entailed. Did you think I’d drop everything to become your housewife? You knew Starfleet would always come first. I was a fool for believing you loved me the way I am; I could never match up to whatever fantasy version of myself you constructed in your mind.”

He laughed.

“Saying it comes first implies you have some time for whatever comes second. And you don’t.”

“You know I’ve asked repeatedly to work less hours, it’s out of my control! What would you have me do, give up my career for you, after everything it took to get where I am?”

“I never expected you to give up anything you wanted for my benefit. But I’m your husband, I should be one of the things you want. All I desire is for you to be happy, to spend time with the woman I love, and for you to want to spend time with me. But you never do.”

“If you are so unfulfilled, why are you still here? No one is forcing you to endure my company. You seem to think you are putting my needs first, but all you are really doing is making everything harder for me. Don’t you think I’m dealing with enough without worrying what fight will be waiting for me at home? Perhaps you should consider spending less time criticising my ambition, and find some of your own! Then you wouldn’t have to follow me around like a lost puppy!” 

His face darkened, and as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew she hadn’t so much stepped over the line as leapt across it. But it was too late, the box was opened, and all the regret in the world couldn’t force the contents back inside now they were loose.

His voice was quiet again as he replied, but despite being surrounded by bodies in all directions, there was dead silence, with not a single person daring to so much as breathe as they watched in grim fascination, and his words were perfectly clear to all.

“You have no idea how often I’ve asked myself why I wait around for you when you clearly have no need or want of my company. Because it certainly feels like I’m the only one who cares about this relationship. And you know what? You’re right. I’m done following you, Kathryn, done with begging you to come home. Work all night if that’s what you really want, I won’t be waiting for you.”

“Chakotay!” She called desperately after him as he stormed off, anger abated as she was filled with cold dread. Horrified and disgusted by how easy it had been to unleash all her frustrations and fury on him. Knowing he didn’t deserve the callous things she had said. Knowing she didn’t mean them. 

“Chakotay, please! I’m sorry!”

He waved her off without looking back. He was utterly done, and nothing she could say would make him change his mind.

“Please don’t lea-” 

Her words were cut off as the entrance doors slammed behind him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered despondently to herself, oblivious to the many pairs of eyes completely focused on her as she looked after him miserably. 

***

In the corner of the ballroom, Admiral Paris fidgeted anxiously with his sleeve, deliberately avoiding looking at her stricken face. Katie was known for her indomitable personality, and he could see those around him bracing themselves for the inevitable supernova of anger that was about to envelop them all. But having known her for longer than most, he knew that wasn’t the only possible outcome. While it was true that she tended to respond to fire with fire, seemingly uncaring of the risk of burning herself out permanently, he could remember a time when she reacted quite differently to loss.

Either she would let her anger and misery drive her into furious action, throwing herself into work with a frenzy that would make her current hours look tame or… she would disappear entirely. He tended not to think of the last time he had seen her withdraw, the misery of his favourite student combined with the unexpected loss of a good friend was not a pleasant memory. But he remembered how close she had been to becoming lost herself as she turned all her emotions inwards in an attempt to cope with what had happened. 

As the silence drew on without a reaction from her, he realised both parts of her were furiously warring for supremacy, and he had no idea which would win. 

A moment later he heard the doors slam again, and a frenetic buzz began to fill the room. He didn’t need to look to know she had gone. 

Implode, it seemed, had won. Goddamn it. Sighing, he immediately excused himself. Someone should warn Gretchen before Katie vanished into the mist.

He could only imagine what waves this was going to cause tomorrow. There were undoubtedly going to be ramifications for Starfleet, of that he was certain. But his concern lay with her, and her ability to pull herself back from the abyss on whose edge she was so precariously balanced.

***

Silence waited for Kathryn at home. If Chakotay had gone there, he had already left. Not that she had expected to see him, but without his presence, there was an overwhelming void in the home they shared. House, she corrected herself, not home. It was only home when it was theirs.

Despite having long passed the point of exhaustion, sleep eluded her, body still throbbing from the pulsing rush of adrenaline. As she began to come down from the high, her thoughts exclusively consisted of the hurt and betrayal she had seen in Chakotay’s face as she ruthlessly tore into him, twisting every kind act of concern he had shown her and throwing them back in his face as though his love was an inconvenience, and not the only thing holding her together.

Not that she had been the only one; he had given as good as he got, but alone in the bed they should have been sharing, she couldn’t claim that his words weren’t justified.

Hours later, though her mind was still racing, the many nights of missed sleep finally caught up with her, and her body lost the fight to remain conscious. Slipping into fevered dreams, she found herself back in the last place where she had pushed him away in favour of duty, forced to relive the years of misery and solitude that follow. Aghast to find that somehow, each and every single regret she had felt was even more heart-breaking the second time around.

***

Though she felt no more rested than the night before, she was still infinitely relieved when the scream of her alarm wrenched her from sleep. With a pained groan, she dragged herself out of bed in search of coffee, cancelling her repeating alarm permanently. Two cups of coffee later, calmer and filled with grim determination, she ignored her uniform completely in favour of comfortable clothing. For decades, it had been her armour, protecting and strengthening her in times when she faltered, and she was surprised by how liberating it felt to discard it, a weight she hadn’t known was there falling away with the toughened fabric.

Catching sight of herself in the mirror as she carelessly pulled her hair into a loose ponytail, she was unbothered by how far removed she was from her usual self. Sliding on sunglasses to protect her weary eyes from the unflinching brightness outside, she was ready to attack the new day head on. 

It was time to deal with Starfleet. Not that she was blameless by any stretch, but the impossible expectations of her certainly hadn’t helped, and she was done waiting for them to pay attention to her repeated concerns. 

As she stormed into HQ, she radiated forceful determination, and no amount of casual clothing could conceal her natural authority. The dead silence as she walked through the halls clearly indicated that she had been the subject of every conversation, though none were so foolish as to continue in the face of her intimidating presence, the threat of her wrath more than enough to quiet even the most dedicated gossip. 

In the end, the dramatic showdown foreshadowed by her tempestuous arrival never occurred. 

In an astounding show of control, she calmly informed Starfleet that she was taking an immediate leave of absence, and not to expect her back for at least six months. It was quite clear that should they refuse, she would not be back at all. At that moment, she was surprised to find how little she cared either way about their decision, having no energy left to waste on thoughts of what she would do if she parted ways with them permanently. Sensing she was not bluffing and would have no hesitation in carrying out her threat, the shell-shocked admirals quickly acquiesced to her request. As she rose to leave, Owen Paris pulled her aside for a moment.

“Katie, are you sure this is a good idea?” 

“It’s what I need.”

He fixed her with a firm stare, and it was clear he didn’t want to bring up what had happened last time she had chosen this path, but couldn’t in good conscience let her leave without at least saying something. She seemed to understand, and cut him off before he could formulate the words he was searching for.

“If you think I’ve forgotten, I haven’t. I never will.”

“Your mother-”

“Knows where I’ll be. I have to go, I don’t have a lot of time. I’ll be fine.” 

She remained only long enough to hand over to her assistant which things most urgently required attention. 

***

An hour later, having packed lightly, she started her new mission – to put as much distance as possible between herself and Starfleet, the press, and in all honesty, everyone else.

The fact that her relationship seemed to be the only topic of discussion wherever she went was not lost on her. Not for the first time, she cursed her bright hair for drawing far more than her fair share of attention, and thanks to her face being literally everywhere, once eyes were on her, it was only a matter of time before she was recognised. Unlike those at Starfleet, none of these people knew enough about her to know when to steer clear, and only her desire to not be the cover story twice in a row prevented the numerous homicides that she envisioned committing as she shook off person after person with no regard for her desire to be left alone.

Her mood had not been improved when a particularly voracious group surrounded her, hindering her and causing her to subsequently miss the boat she had been hoping to catch. With little other choice but to wait for the next one, she settled down in the quietest corner of the nearest coffee shop, and resigned herself to a painfully long wait as she did her best to maintain at least a civil manner to those recognising her. But she couldn’t help rolling her eyes at the thoughtless lack of compassion as she was asked time and again to sign copies of articles covering her and Chakotay’s vicious fight. 

She was particularly disturbed by the number of men who, despite her frosty countenance, confidently propositioned her, seemingly undisturbed that it had been only a day since Chakotay had left her. For some reason, they all seemed convinced they were exactly what she needed to get over her heartbreak.

Despite her waning patience, she did her best to politely refuse their advances, explaining that she was just not interested in anything other than her own company at the moment. Mostly this seemed to be accepted, however on a couple of occasions, this only served to prompt the men to double down with an increasingly aggressive conviction that she was playing hard to get.

The only satisfaction she found that day was in the deliverance of the –in her opinion– completely justified dressing down she gave them, explaining that even if it hadn’t been a mere day since the breakdown of her marriage, she still wouldn’t have been interested, holding nothing back as she let them know just how inappropriate their behaviour was. Her ability to quickly, and accurately, evaluate character had been well developed in her many years in command, and served her well as she rapidly listed in excruciating detail exactly why she would never be interested in what they had to offer, sending them fleeing with their tails between their legs.

***

By the time Kathryn reached her destination the following night, she was utterly exhausted, and at the limit of what she could cope with after more than a day of travelling. Part of her wished she could simply get here via transporter, but then, the point of coming here was that it was completely cut off from the world via any modern means of transport or communication. 

Fortunately, it had been possible to grab a shower while on the boat, and she was relieved to wash away the grime of travel and change into fresh clothing, so at least she was comfortable and wouldn’t have to shower before collapsing into bed. 

Thanks to her delayed arrival, it was already dark, but having been here before, she knew the way to go. There was only the one villa on the private island, and she knew it would offer her the only thing she cared about right now – complete seclusion, and the chance to find peace from the noise of the world. It would be a while before everything that had happened would die down, and she was infinitely grateful for this isolated retreat where she could wait it out.

Letting herself into the dark building, she turned to lean against the door with her full weight as she closed it, as though pushing the world out in her actions. Resting her forehead against the door, she exhaled loudly, shoulders dropping as she felt a brief respite from the invisible pressure bearing down on them. She jumped as she felt warm breath brush over her ear but before she could do so much as think, the remaining air was forced from her lungs as she was pinned to the door.

“You’re late.”


	2. The truth from the lies

Kathryn struggled to loosen herself from the tight hold, to gain some room in which to free herself but it was no use; she was entirely trapped.

“Do you make a habit of waiting in the dark to ambush women?”

“If you had been here on time, it wouldn’t have been dark. You know how I feel about being kept waiting, Kathryn.”

The burning heat of his mouth found its way down to her nape, pressing aggressive kisses along her skin. 

“I was–”

“I don’t want your excuses.” A tight grip in her hair forced her head to turn, exposing her neck, and she inhaled sharply as he latched onto the tender spot where neck met collar bone, biting possessively, firmly enough to cause discomfort but not enough to break the skin. Immediately his tongue soothed over the mark left, lips kissing softly before finding their way back to her ear. “But you _will_ be begging for forgiveness before I’m finished with you.” 

Rough hands found their way under her clothing, kneading her breasts. Suddenly the weight of his body was gone, and he flipped her around, furiously ripping off and discarding her dress before she was slammed against the wall, once more trapped under him as their mouths crashed together. 

Caught in the fervour, she was unaware she was scraping her nails down his back, much harder than she would have done intentionally, and he hissed into her mouth, biting her lip in response as he slid his hands between their bodies, once more finding her soft mounds. The teasing of her hardened peaks was driving her insane, forcing her to break their kiss to moan in delight, head thrown back against the wall. Oh god, it had been so long since they’d had the energy or the opportunity to do this. Kathryn had almost forgotten how brightly their passion had burned, back before she had felt compelled to spend all her time at work. Once more, she cursed Starfleet for their uncaring attitude, and herself for letting it go so far before taking action.

Rapidly pushing her remaining clothing to the floor, he pulled back for a moment, growling in arousal as he took in the curves of her pale body illuminated in the limited light cascading in through the glass door panes. Mouth finding her breast, he thrust a hand between her legs, swiftly parting her folds before plunging two fingers into her wet heat without warning. Her moan was replaced with a surprised but pleasured gasp as she was stretched by his fingers, her knuckles white in his hair as she urged him onwards. He crooked his fingers, sending sparks of white delight through her mind, his thumb pressing firmly against her clit, and with a strangled cry, her release hit her unexpectedly. She could feel the tension draining away from her, though the feeling of ardent arousal remained, still aching for more.

Taking advantage of her distraction, Chakotay dropped to his knees, hiking one of her legs over his shoulder, hands holding her hips firmly to the wall for stability as he pressed his mouth to her centre. He released a groan as he tasted her, wasting no time as his tongue firmly pressed against her clit, repeatedly flicking the sensitive nub, having to use considerable force to keep her in place as she thrashed helplessly under his attention. 

He didn’t stop as her second peak hit, or the third, alternating between stimulating her clit and lapping at her centre, teasing against her entrance but not pressing inside despite her incoherent pleading, relentlessly forcing her through wave after wave of pleasure. By now she was a shaking mess, his hands the only thing keeping her upright as she tugged wildly on his hair, his shoulders, frustrated by her inability to touch him, her pleasure bordering on pain as she was given no opportunity to recover. 

Feeling her shudder and slacken once more, he pulled back, watching her pant and heave as she tried to regain control of her body, face flushed bright with arousal as he dragged her to the floor. But her respite was brief as his mouth left her only for a moment before resuming its task, her legs bent on either side of his head. The new position allowed him to use his hands, stroking firmly over her abdomen, reaching up to cup her breasts, rolling the pebbled nipples in time with his tongue. 

“Please...please Chakotay, I...I…can’t...” stringing together words was almost impossible, not even really sure what she wanted to say, not wanting him to stop and yet needing him to do so at the same time.

He slowed but didn’t stop, keeping her just on edge but allowing her to gain slight coherence.

“Oh...oh...please! I’m sorry, Chakotay, please, let me touch you…” 

Whimpering as his mouth moved upwards, barely brushing against her clit, Kathryn glanced down to see his dark eyes looking up at her from between her thighs, mouth wet with the taste of her. Her body throbbed with fresh arousal at the sight. Although his face was caught in the shadow cast by her legs, she could feel the intensity of his gaze on her face.

“What for, Kathryn?”

“Sorry…for keeping you waiting …”

“Try again.” His voice little more than a murmur against her clit, nipping firmly and drawing a scream from her as she bucked in delight up towards him.

“I’m sorry!” She howled, “Chakotay please, I didn’t mean to make you worry!”

“Good.”

And then he was fucking her with his tongue, and instantly she felt herself begin to fall apart at the raw, animalistic way he devoured her, as though her taste was addictive, something he couldn’t live without. There was nothing gentle about his actions but she didn’t care, both caught in the primal urge to slate the aching inside, and she rapidly succumbed to the euphoria.

As he leant back for breath, the desperate urge to taste him overcame her exhaustion, and with energy she didn’t know she had, she caught his shoulders with her heels, pushing him backward. Before he knew what was happening, she had unhooked his belt, opened his pants and freed him from the tight fabric. His brief moment of thought as he considered regaining control was forgotten as her soft fingers ran down his length, and he pressed eagerly into her hands, willingly surrendering to this turning of the tables.

Straddling his knees, she looked down at the firm cock jutting proudly from his body, and she couldn’t wait any longer. Flicking her tongue quickly across the tip, she tasted the salty essence beaded there with delight. His agonised moan spurred her onward and she dipped further, hair spilling over his thighs as she enveloped the tip in her mouth, sucking firmly, feeling heat pool in her centre at his gasped ‘yes’.

Chakotay’s hand wound almost automatically through her hair until his grip was tight enough to guide her movements as he rocked up against her, and she was more than happy to let him show her what he needed, tongue swirling and teasing as he slid wetly in and out. She flicked her gaze to his face, expecting to find his eyes closed, but instead he was staring down at her, pupils dilated with lust as he watched her bob up and down.

“Spirits, Kathryn, you have no idea how sexy you are with your lips wrapped around me, letting me fuck that hot little mouth.”

His voice was low and breathless, and Kathryn moaned around him at his crude words, unbelievably turned on by his evident need. Moving faster, she met every thrust of his hips, letting him drive deeper and deeper into her mouth while she used her lips, her tongue, her fingers to overwhelm his control. Blissful sounds of desperation fell from his lips as his movements became frantic.

“Kathryn...” he rasped in warning, and she felt him tugging at her hair, trying to pull her away, but she resisted, suddenly desperate to make him come like this. Too incoherent to protest again and incapacitated by his imminent release, he couldn’t help but encourage her as her scorching mouth glided back down his cock. He felt her body rocking over his legs as she brought him to the edge, and he realised she was using her free hand to touch herself, her excitement driven by his frenzied desire. At this thought, his movements degenerated into erratic thrusts, grunting her name as he spilled uncontrollably into her mouth. Her eyes never left his, bright in triumph as she eagerly swallowed all he gave her. A moment later their gaze was broken as her eyes fluttered closed, gasping around him as her fingers skilfully brought her to orgasm.

The fist in her hair went slack, and she collapsed onto her back at his side, both panting with exertion, their hands finding each other. Nothing was said, their feelings evident from the years they had spent learning every tiny detail about the other. For a while, they were satisfied to simply lie peacefully, both worn out from their energetic lovemaking.

Finally, Chakotay broke the silence.

“I really was worried about you when you didn’t turn up as expected, Kathryn. What happened?”

“I know, I’m sorry. I was waylaid by a group who recognised me, I couldn’t get away in time. You know the boat is the only way to contact you here, there was nothing I could do when I missed it except wait for the next. I really didn’t intend to make you worry.”

“I know. You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

Pulling her close, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, her body wrapping around his. They knew eventually they would have to separate and move to the bed, but for now they were satisfied exactly where they were.

***

Kathryn awoke to the smell of coffee and passion.

Before she even opened her eyes, she knew she wanted both things as soon as possible. In that order, of course.

Peeking out from under the blanket, she was filled with peace at the sight of him sitting upright next to her, reading serenely. She didn’t remember making their way to the bed, but she clearly recalled waking in the night to make love with him, flushing slightly at the sudden memory of herself riding him wantonly, shamelessly flexing her lithe body above his in her drive to send them both over the edge.

“Morning, beautiful. Sleep well?” His cheeky grin let her know he was well aware of the direction her thoughts were taking, and she responded by stretching her whole body out, releasing the kinks of tension throughout her muscles, pretending not to notice his eyes darken as her breasts strained upwards, torturously displayed before him by her movement. His jaw went slack, clearly trying to escape from the fog blurring his mind. As much as he wanted to touch her again, he knew it would be infinitely safer to let her enjoy her coffee first. She smirked at his expression as she sat up, eagerly accepting the cup he passed her as he tried to kick his brain back into functionality.

“Uh… so…Starfleet…” He cursed himself for being so easily distracted, watching her tongue dart out to lick a bead of the dark liquid from her lips, before trying to start the conversation again.

“So... what happened with Starfleet?”

“Hmm?” Inhaling deeply, she realised she hadn’t heard a word he was saying. As her guilty eyes met his and she grinned sheepishly, he realised it too.

“Oh, I see how it is. Would you like some time alone together?” He teased, and she rolled her eyes in response, taking his gentle ribbing in good humour.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I asked how it went with Starfleet.”

“Oh, pretty much as you would expect. I think they got so used to me bending over backwards to try and meet their demands, that they forgot who the real ‘me’ was.” She sighed, momentarily morose. “They really could have been using my skills for something more important, rather than leaving me to waste away behind a desk.”

“Is that what you want, Kathryn, to go back out on missions?” She didn’t miss the brief flash of concern in his eyes as he asked the question, as though he worried he was holding her back from reaching her full potential, keeping her from her dream. She understood his concern, having felt the same way when he had left Starfleet for her. She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“No. Not anymore. At first, I missed it, and I was always so frustrated that I wasn’t doing anything worthwhile. But... I think part of my frustration was coming from how little I got to see you. I spent so long waiting for us to be back home so we could be together without any idea that I would actually get to see less of you. Unless you were there, I think I’d be just as unsatisfied out there as I am behind a desk. But there is a wide range of possibilities between what they had me doing and deep space missions; I would like to return to something a bit more fulfilling that doesn’t require me to be off world for long periods. 

“Anyway, I didn’t really have to do anything but tell them I was taking a leave of absence and they were too shocked to object. I’m sure half of them are convinced I won’t be back. Let them try to deal with my workload, maybe then they will realise how goddamn lucky they are to have me. By the time we return, they’ll be so relieved to see me that they’ll beg me to come back at the reduced hours I’ve been requesting all year.” 

“And if they don’t?”

“Oh, they will. I know what I’m worth. It’ll take three of them to get through the work I do. Besides, you left too soon to get caught in it, but I’ve seen the fallout from the maelstrom we created. Thank god we managed to get away from it all; our faces are everywhere, everyone is talking about us, about our story. The press is already howling for Starfleet’s blood for driving a wedge between their favourite star-crossed lovers. Who would dare risk being the one to come between our reconciliation?”

His grin matched her own.

“There’s the devious woman I married. Though I must admit I was surprised to hear your proposed choice of ally – knowing the displeasure you feel whenever you see our names on some new story, it was the last thing I expected. You’re a very private person Kathryn, it’s not like you to willingly become the target of their attention.”

“I know, I hate that we can’t seem to have any privacy. But they write about us every other week anyway, regardless of how we feel about it, and most of it has even less basis in fact than our argument. If they are going to publish rubbish anyway, I thought for once it might be nice for it to be to our advantage. Not that they really care about our relationship, of course, but it’s exactly the sort of story they have been dreaming of since Voyager returned.”

She paused.

“You were really quite convincing, if I hadn’t known…” Her tone was light, and would have convinced anyone who didn’t know her intimately.

“Kathryn, this was your idea. For any of it to be believable, there had to be some basis in truth. It’s no secret that we were both frustrated by the inability to spend any time together, and it was always going to be a sore point between us. I don’t blame you for being away as much as you were; I know you did everything you could to get them to listen. Even when we have a difference of opinion, even if we fight and burn with anger, it doesn’t change how we feel about each other. I love you, Kathryn, from the moment I first saw you until my last breath, and I could never let you go. I did wait seven years for you, I’m not about to let you slip away now I have you. Besides,” he added, trying to inject a little lightness into the conversation, “I don’t recall you pulling any punches; I wasn’t expecting you to hit me quite so hard.”

“Sorry, I was… very tired, and I got caught up in how close to home some of your accusations cut. Are you ok?” 

“You think I’m afraid of your baby fists, Kathryn?” His tone was teasing but reassuring, trying to convince her that he really was fine, his much larger hands easily engulfing hers, and squeezing gently. He could tell something had upset her deeply, but he instinctively felt it had little to do with what he had said; despite her command background, she was rarely critical of anyone except herself.

“You should know better than to underestimate me, I can do a lot more damage than you think. Besides, you know that’s not what I meant. It’s not about the action, it’s about what it represents. I never want to hurt you, intentionally or otherwise. I’ve done enough of that to last our lifetimes.”

“We both have. But we left that behind a long time ago now, Kathryn.”

“Rationally, I knew none of it was real, but that didn’t stop what you said from stinging, especially when a lot of it was true, or close enough to truth to make me question my behaviour. Hearing what I said hurt more though; I can’t stand the idea of being so hateful and cold, caring only about Starfleet and nothing else. It… brought back a lot of bad memories, past decisions filled with regret. I know it’s different with hindsight, but looking back… I realise how harsh some of my behaviour concerning you – us – was. I need you to promise me you’ll tell me if I slip back into past habits.”

“Kathryn, you did what you had to do in the best interest of everyone on Voyager. Yes, it was agony to be apart from you, but I know you felt it as much as I, only you had to bear the brunt of the responsibility as well. I’m not sure I could have done it, but somehow you did, and still managed to get everyone home. You didn’t do any of it to hurt me, I know that. You have to let go of the guilt.”

“I know. It’s just hard not to wonder whether you might think somewhere inside I really felt that way, considering how I pushed you away before. But I do need you, more than I can say. Then and now, you have been my compass, keeping me on the right path, even though I may have… wandered off it, now and again. I know what you sacrificed so that I could stay with Starfleet, once again putting my needs before your own, and I love you all the more for it.”

“I know you didn’t, Kathryn, I know exactly how much you love me. You do realise this marriage is a forever sort of thing, don’t you? We are going to do things that upset or annoy each other, we are going to argue and disagree, but we’ll make up and get through it. It’s normal for you to find my tendency to be protective irritating, I’d expect nothing less from someone with your level of independence. Likewise, you’ll just have to understand that sometimes your reluctance to listen to my advice frustrates me. In the end, the only thing that matters is being together. I just hope we don’t have to go to these lengths every time we need some solitude. You know, that prim and proper captain who was sent to capture me would never have approved of such underhanded methods.”

“Well, back then I was still arrogant enough to believe I could do everything on my own, that principles and rules would be enough to get us safely home. Oh, that woman had no idea of the reality check she was about to face. I soon learned it was going to take a lot more than I expected to get us home, and even then we barely made it out alive. Some of us didn’t.

“Besides, after the last time... gods Chakotay, for all the things that nearly killed me on our journey home, it was having to leave what we had on New Earth that destroyed me. After that, I promised myself that when – not if – we could finally be together again, I would fight with everything I had to keep it. I have the benefit of knowing exactly what it’s like to live every day having lost you, six years of the empty space beside me where you should be, six years of choosing Starfleet and duty. It had to be done then, it was about so much more than just us. But I knew I couldn’t face losing you again. 

“And as for Starfleet, if they had been in any way reasonable, it would never have had to come to this. I’ve done everything I can ‘by the book’ as it were, to no result. I almost killed myself getting us all back. I’d do it again in a heartbeat for you, or for our crew, but I’m not about to do it for the sake of paperwork. I’ve been telling them for more than a year that things have to change but they have yet to do anything. Therefore, more... unorthodox options needed to be explored. They have only themselves to blame.”

“You know, you never really clarified how we explain turning up at home as though nothing ever happened.”

“Six months is a long time. Who’s to say the time apart didn’t knock some sense into us both?”

Depositing her empty cup on the bedside table, she snuggled closer into him, trying to remember the last time they had been able to wake together, rather than her quiet departure to HQ while he still slept. 

“You know, as happy as I am to be here, I am a little bit worried that I may have forgotten how to just do nothing.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that, Kathryn. I don’t plan for us to spend much time doing ‘nothing’.”


	3. Epilogue

Kathryn let out a small sigh as she watched Chakotay securing the villa before turning to her. She could hardly believe they had been here for almost six months, it had passed so quickly. But as wonderful as it was, they couldn’t hide here for ever. They would both benefit from a return to the real world, and those people they had left behind. She knew Phoebe and her mother were both desperate to see them, and they were heading to Indiana for a week before going home.

Their eyes met and she laughed at the large grin on his face.

“Ready to cause another scandal?”

He didn’t reply, but eyes twinkling he leant in to kiss her, his hand coming to rest over her own on the small but unmistakable swelling of her stomach. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm trying to push myself each time I write to do something I struggle with or something that pushes me outside of my comfort zone. So, I tried to put a lil fluff at the end of this one. Is this fluff? I think it is, or as close to fluff as I can go. Because every story can't end in heartbreak, right?

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Star Trek: Voyager and all its characters belong to Paramount Pictures/CBS; no infringement of copyright is intended.


End file.
